With 98 flavours in the range, here's where to actually start - by profile, not by guesswork.
There's no single answer - it depends entirely on whether you want fruit, ice, sweets or something drier. But some picks are close to consensus, and after that it's about finding your family. Here's how the 98-flavour menu breaks down.
The two initialled flavours are the most-asked-about in Australia, and both earn it. FTP is blackberry dragon fruit - deep, jammy and cool, the standout if you like dark berries. WTF is grapefruit - sharp and bittersweet, the driest thing in the range and the antidote if everything else tastes too sweet. Try one of these first and you'll learn a lot about which direction suits you.
The reliable middle of the range. Watermelon Ice is the safest bet of all - juicy, not too sweet, cold at the end - and it's on four of the five devices. Blueberry Blast is the other crowd-pleaser, with Blueberry Breeze and Blueberry Watermelon as variations on it. Strawberry Kiwi balances sweet against tart better than any other pairing here, and Mango Magic is the pick for full-bodied tropical.
If you want cold without fruit, the mint family is clean and uncomplicated: Cool Mint, Miami Mint and Mami Mint. Worth knowing that the Ice Adjust 12000 lets you dial the cooling yourself, so any flavour on that device can be pushed from mild to arctic - a better solution than hunting for the coldest flavour on the menu.
The candy shelf is unashamedly sweet: Skittles and Rainbow Candy are the two people come back for, with Chuppa Chupps Strawberry, Yellow Starburst, Hubba Bubba Grape and the sour B-Pop filling it out. Sweet-tooth territory - if you find fruit flavours too subtle, start here.
A few flavours don't fit anywhere neatly and are worth knowing about. Frozen Banana Toffee is dessert in a device. Ribena is exactly the blackcurrant cordial you're thinking of. White Swirl is the creamy one. Tobac is the only tobacco profile, dry and unsweetened, for ex-smokers who want nothing fruity. And Mystery Box doesn't tell you what it is at all.
Once you know the flavour, pick the body for how long you want it to last: Pandora 7000 to try something, INGOT 9000 for the widest choice, Ice Adjust 12000 to control the cooling, UPLOAD 25000 to go longest. The same flavour tastes the same in each - see the full flavours list for which devices carry what, or best sellers for what's moving now.